Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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