Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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