So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
