check it out our google latitudes are spooning
well I can't set my house on fire every night
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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