so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
