You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
