I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
