somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
either way he was missing a nipple.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I fill condoms, not promises.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
