You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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