we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
