it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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