508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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