bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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