i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
