One girl and one boy is just not enough.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
