3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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