i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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