i dont even know how to be here
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
