spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
