I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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