why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
