What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
