East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
