No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
You took a bar mat shot.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
