you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
