Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
