sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
