I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
