Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
