I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
