i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
