if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Randomize
