ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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