I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
