I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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