Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
