My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
