More tranny stories later!
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Randomize
