so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
