sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
