Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
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