She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
