you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
