Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
