ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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