Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
