Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
