i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
