I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
