I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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