She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Pants are for mortals
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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