he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
